some facts to think about for brothers looking to marry...

(based on the Prophet's Life)

The Prophet had 12 wives over his life time.

His 12 wives were:
Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid (first wife - for 25 years until her death)
Sawdah Bint Zamaah (widow)

Aisha Bint Abi Bakr (the only virgin)

Hafsah Bint Omar

Zainab Bint Khuzaymah

Umm Salamah a.k.a Hind Bint Otbah (widow)

Zainab Bint Jahsh

Juwayriyah Bint Al-Harith

Safiyah Bint Huyay Ibn Akhtab (Jewish)

Ummo Habibah Ramlah Bint Abi Sofian (widow)

Mariya Bint Shamoun (Egyptian & christian)

Maymonah Bint Al-Harith

ONLY ONE WAS A VIRGIN (Aisha). The rest were previously widows or divorced.

Safiya was a Jew and Mariya was a Christian.

He married Khadijah when he was 25 and she was 40 years old. They stayed married until she died, when he was 50 (25 year long marriage). He mourned her for 2 years and remarried at age 52. He married Sawdah, who was 80 years old, in order to honour her for becoming Islam's first widow.

It is said that Mohammed the Man married Khadijah, but Mohammed the Prophet married the rest.

From the ages of 52-60 he remarried several times for political and social reasons (bring tribes together, political alliances, etc). This was done many times throughout world and religious history.. others who were polygamous (in Islam - Biblical Sources) were Prophets: Ibrahim (Abraham), Dawood (King David) & Sulaiman (King Soloman).

A certain type of woman was not preferred above another:
The virginal status of the woman didnt matter - as in it was not important if she was previously married (therefore not a virgin). The age of the wife did not matter, whether very young or very old (as long as she had menstrual cycles a.k.a considered a woman in those days). Many girls, once they had reached puberty, were considered women in areas like Rome, Persia and Arabia. The social status of the wife did not matter. The religion of the wife did not matter (as long as she was from the People of the Book {Jewish, Muslim or Christian}).

He married for friendship ties and strengthening relationships:
He married Abi Bakr's daughter and Omar's sister to strengthen the relationship. He married his own daughters to Ali and Othman.

He married Mariya the Egyptian. Afterwards, the Egyptians sided with him and embraced Islam. After he married Juwayriyah, the people of her tribe, Bani Al-Mustalaq, embraced Islam after battling with the Muslims.

Why am I telling you this????

I write this in the hope of Brothers, who are looking to marry, to stop fussing over whether their prospective bride is a virgin or not. Whether she was married before. Whether she is Christian or Jewish.

Many of the mothers of these wanting-to-marry Brothers go crazy about making sure their sons marry 'innocent' virgins, who come from a good muslim family (good usually by their own cultural standings and class - not by islamic standards). They reject and veto any thought of their precious son marrying a girl who is a Christian or a Jew... or even a Muslim girl who was previously married and now divorced. They even prefer a younger girl and subhanna'Allah they will reject a prospective girl just because she is maybe one or two years older than the boy, even though our beloved Prophet married his first wife who was 15 years older! Subhanna'Allah!

Sons and Mothers - please think about the Prophet's marital life and experiences and what is really preferred for a husband. Stop fussing over age, virginity, social class and status, etc.

Think about what marital life really needs - a caring, devout, religious, kind, devoted, well mannered, respectful, loving wife who will take beautiful care and love of her husband and any children they have together.

Because marrying an attractive virgin from a wealthy, well classed family WILL NOT guarantee any man's happiness or a secured Islamic future.