Hijab Rules Rant

Do you ever get sick of them?

I mean, if you have been wearing hijab for a few years then you probably already know what is roughly appropriate for today's current Muslim society. I say today's society because it changes all the time. Actually even all cultures today don't agree and abide by one set of rules. Many cultures from areas like certain African countries and the Iranian/Afghani/Indian region don't even fully cover their head and leave a bit of hair showing and that is enough hijab for many.

I'm not even sure that is wrong... or right... or whatever. Maybe it just is what it is.

A lot of the rules we have have been decided upon interpretation of hadiths and the Quran (99.9% of the time by men - who obviously don't even wear hijab) and not all of them agree with the rest. Add in your own specific cultural interpretation of women's clothing and it could alter it slightly or change it all. I've been doing a lot of thinking about this issue lately and wondering what is hijab really?

Is hijab in its purest form the simple essence of modesty, of making sure you look decent on the street? Or is it a long list of strict rules we must abide by and if we don't we must be lectured by everyone under the sun about it?

I saw so many different types of hijab on my recent trip to Malaysia. The place was packed with international tourists so I got to see a myriad of different Muslim nationalities and their hijab style. The Khaleeji girls were mostly in head to toe black. Some with niqab, some without, some with piled on drag queen style makeup, some with a more natural look. Then there were the Iranian women. Most were in trousers and loose tops, most dressed with a loose scarf with some of their hair showing. Most Malaysian or Indonesian women also wore pants or long skirts with a slip-on hijab style (tudung); I came across a lot that were wearing short sleeved shirts with their arms bare due to the heat (I was so jealous - I was suffering in my abaya in that weather).

You could've picked any of these women, stood them aside and judged them for what they were wearing: "Oh she has her lower arm showing, her hair is showing, she's wearing pants, she's not wearing niqab, she is wearing niqab, she is wearing makeup, she has this, she has that, blah blah blah..." which is what a lot of us do.

We seem to pick each other to pieces for the smallest of things with our dress, which makes me think is this really hijab? Is this what God meant for us when we were told to cover? Or were we told to cover simply to ensure we weren't walking around with our privates on display for everyone to ogle at?

Pre-Islamic Arabian times: women didn't cover their chests - hence the ayah ordering women to cover their "adornments" so they wouldn't be hassled on the streets. Adornments does not refer to your rings or your bracelets. Men are not going to hassle you if you are wearing a necklace, ladies. They are more prone to go for the women who at that time walked around the streets with their boobies uncovered like "Hey, how's it going? Just walking to the shop to get some milk... with my boobs in the air. Everyone look at these." *points*. It was custom for women in Pre-Islamic Arabia (including non-Muslims) to cover their hair (as men also did - probably to keep the desert sand out) but not their chest, hence the ayah ordering women to extend their head-covering to ensure their chest (adornments) were also covered - we could argue for modesty's sake.

If we see hijab as a long list of strict rules then we will pick on each other for a wisp of hair showing or a foot showing, etc. If we see hijab as just a way for us to be dressed modestly then we won't pick on each other. There would be no need for stupid discussions on whether some girl we don't even know has her top too tight or not long enough.

I used to be like that 100% - very judgemental and quick to pick outfits to pieces. Thank God now I have changed. Now it just pisses me off when instead of seeing the good in something, there always has to be someone who tears it to pieces because they just have to let everyone know that it doesn't fit in with their definition of hijab.

Not even scholars agree on it all. Some people believe you shouldn't see the feet, or the face or even the hands. Thankfully most people don't agree because I'm really not ok with being a walking pair of eyes. That might suit some people but not me. I would just feel dehumanised, like I wasn't even allowed to be seen.

Also, modesty changes depending on what society you are in and what time you are living in. That is something to keep in mind when you look at other people and start to nitpick at them.

When I was on my little holiday I saw so many different types of dress with hijab and no matter how different they were they all had one common feature - they were all modest in their own way and it made me think "Wow, this is the real hijab." It was modesty in clothing in so many different ways. There was not only one type of dress.

There was only once when I was on my trip that I started "tsk tsk" to myself over a hijabi who was wearing lace tights (with all of her leg and underwear showing through the lace of course) with a lowcut tight tank top that ended where her tights started and some kind of carina invention that covered her arms and basically stopped at her arm pits.

I could see her boobs. I dont mean the outline or shape of them, I mean actual boobage. Her scarf and top covered nothing, no matter how many times she tugged at her tiny scarf. Then from the side there was a massive space where you saw the complete sides of her black bra and all the skin around that area. All I kept thinking was "this girl thinks hijab is just about a scarf on her head and that's it". I was just astonished. For two reasons. One - that she would even dress like that anyway (Muslim or not, it was just trashy). Two - she was with what looked like her sister, both of their husbands, children and what seemed to be someone's father and none of them seemed to be bothered by it.

I was thinking about going up to her and just saying "Just letting you know that I can see your... everything" so she could fix it, but then I thought "You know what? This girl should know what hijab is. And even if she doesn't she has her sister and three other men who seem to be related to her that should tell her. So it's not my place." And left her dress disaster to herself.

I've never been the type to go up to a stranger and tell them what to do but it was honestly so gross that I felt like I had to say something. I just felt so embarrassed and ashamed for her, but in the end I decided to not say anything at all because it might just come across as bitchy when I didn't mean it that way. Besides, from the way she was constantly tugging to unsuccessfully cover her breasts with her scarf, it was obvious she knew and was conscious about the fact that all she owned was on display. Plus all the Gulf women walking past her were giving her THE dirtiest looks, so there is no way she didn't already know.

That little incident just added another slice of proof to my thinking that hijab isn't just about a scarf on your head. It is about complete modesty that should start with your body and end with your scarf. I have friends who don't wear hijab and most of the time their outfits are a lot more modest than some hijabies I see.

What do you think? Is hijab to you about the essence of modesty or about following a list of rules? No one is right or wrong - just a discussion and airing of views. Leave your thoughts below.

not hijab

i havent done those kind of posts for a while because im kinda over the whole judging thing and really, who are we to say what is hijab and what isnt.

we can say "oh clearly, this ayah/hadith PROVES that you cant do this or that..." when really we should be saying "oh clearly, this ayah/hadith suppports my INTERPRETATION that you cant do this or that..."

we dont all agree on what the meaning of certain verses or hadiths are and we KNOW this, yet we are quite happy to be like "youre so wrong. look at you in all your wrongness."

i saw a video today on youtube where someone had made a section of "this is not hijab" in it and posted pics of girls whom she considered to not have proper hijab. most of them i considered to be quite modest and i honestly couldnt pick a fault with the majority of them.

i think ive mellowed quite a bit in that regard. a  couple of yeasrs ago i used to be all about the judging and tsk-tsking over what other people wore but now i think i have become quite reflective in my thinking and when it comes down to it, why do we really care what other people wear?

im sure the majority of people who do get in your face about someone else's hijab style or choice of dress, isnt doing it for the right reasons. they can pretend and swear that they are publicly reminding you that you cant wear earrings, or wear pants, or wear colours, or show your face/hands/feet, or blah blah blah, all for the sake of Allah, but in reality the people who truly care about whether a stranger goes to Jannah or not is not the type of person to degrade you or make you feel so bad about yourself that instead of showing concern they have just rubbed your face in the dirt all because your dress doesnt meet their standards. and i repeat THEIR standards. you do not have to agree with them.

we all have our own opinion when it comes to the rules of dressing. even the most learned of islamic scholars do not 100% agree on all the little tidbits and rules associated with women's dress. if they did, then we would all be wearing one giant black uniform, with no individuality.

we are one big giant community of muslims, that sometimes forget that the things that make up this community are individuals, with individual thoughts, individual opinions and individual interpretations. basically we dont all agree on absolutely everything and we never will. in a way - that is beautiful. variety is the splice of life.

if you dont agree with the way someone dresses, then keep this is mind before voicing your opinion:

• why do you really care about how another woman dresses? is it because you care for this stranger's soul or are you just prone to judging? could it be jealousy? negativity?
• do you really need to say anything? do you really need to leave a nasty anon comment on the girl's youtube video, facebook pic or blog?
• do you really know it all? maybe her hijab is wrong in your eyes, but is perfect in God's eyes? maybe there is nothing wrong with her hijab style at all...
• what do you need to work on? are you perfect?
• what do you really expect to happen by stating your judgement?
• who asked you for your opinion in the first place? is the person you are judging asking for your opinion or are you just in the mood for handing out the "you're so wrong" card to a stranger?
• how bad is her outfit really? lets see... she is completely covered in loose clothing. her ears and neck are covered. the only thing showing are her face and hands from what we can see. she hasn't painted her face in six tonnes of makeup. she speaks well and is polite, well-natured, seems like a lovely woman, etc... so what is that you are really clutching at straws over?
• do you like it when people judge you?

in a perfect world we would all accept each other for the individuals that we are and see the beauty in everyone. in a perfect world we would never judge or be negative towards someone else in a public format over the stupidest and tiniest of things. in a perfect world we wouldnt harp on about the mistakes of others, if they are mistakes at all.

honestly i cant ever recall a time when i have heard a muslim guy go on about how badly another muslim guy dresses - it seems to be a phenomenon that only happens within the female islamic community. i know, due to human nature that it would never happen, but wouldnt it be great if we could look at a perfect stranger and point out the positive instead of the negative all the time?

wouldnt that be a more islamic way to live than telling everyone else what is and isnt islamic about the clothes they wear?

i got myself in the paper! (burqa ban)

its not even really a debate here to be honest. i think the whole thing is just a bad pop up ad in reaction to the french ban.

anyway there was an article in an australian paper here where the minister of women's interests (i dont know how she is the minister of that considering her ignorant views on women who happen to have different values) was trying to persuade niqabi women to uncover their face because they are oppressed and blah blah blah...

i got pissed off by her views and wrote into the paper, to which they responded and asked me for an interview, which i gave. here is the original article:

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/newshome/9164702/burqa-a-blight-on-women-minister/

and here is what i wrote in:

I'm quite pissed off about your news article above.

Once again you speak about Muslim women yet not one single Muslim woman appears in your article. It is just some woman mouthing off about things she doesn't know about, backed up by a man who has no idea what it is like to cover, nor has he chosen to cover. Both cannot and do not represent the Muslim Woman - the main focus of that article.

I am an young, university educated Australian (Anglo-Irish background) who has converted to Islam and I cover. I do not cover my face (like the man in your article, I also do not believe it is a part of the religion) but I know a few who do (and let me emphasis the word FEW because in our community it is indeed the very small MINORITY who do cover their face and those that do are not forced, oppressed or any other negative thing ignorant and uneducated people tend to throw at the issue). This woman who is apparently the Minister for Women's Interests (obviously not for the interest of ALL women) has obviously never sat down and spoken to a woman who wears the niqab. She is just pulling this "oppressed" bullshit out of her own prejudice and ignorance. Her quotes only force the very false perception that we are subjected to violence -

"if doing so would not cause them to be physically hurt or to be placed in any danger". Why mention that at all?

It is obvious that she holds onto a very small ideal of the Muslim woman - one that is not fair, understanding or true.

I know what that is like because I used to be like her. I had never properly spoken to a Muslim so everything I thought about Islam and the Muslim community was rubbish I was fed from the (usually bias) media and the closed minded ignorance of other (usually racist and prejudice) people. That was until I actually had dealings and proper conversations with Muslims which educated me out of my closed mindedness.

The Burqa really isn't a big deal. I have seen maybe twelve people in Perth with my eyes that actually wear it. TWELVE. Not really a huge number we should be concerned about and if you actually asked one of them I am sure they will tell you they have chosen to wear it for themselves.

If a woman wants to wear a burqa or a bikini then who really cares? Freedom of choice. We pretend we have it here in Australia, yet when someone chooses to dress as per their choice then other people start saying they shouldn't and trying to discourage or even ban it. Where is the so-called freedom in that?!

Please next time ask a Muslim woman who actually wears the burqa

during the interview i was asked many questions about hijab and my choices by a lovely reporter who i then passed on to a few friends for their input (including the niqabi interviewed). here is the resulting follow-up article she wrote:

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/breaking/9170821/muslim-women-defend-their-choice-to-cover-up/

in the end im happy i wrote in to express my views because it actually led to something - a niqabi being interviewed about her views on the burqa debate in a fair manner - something that not a lot of news media sources do.

the whole experience just proved to me that you should speak up to the right people when you dont like how muslims or islam is treated. usually we sit on our backsides and complain about the muslim image in the media, and yet we do nothing constructive to voice our opinions. next time write in and you just might come across someone who will listen and present your argument like i did!

i hate this picture

i get the meaning behind it, but i still dont like it. as if women who dont wear hijab or abaya and choose jeans and heels instead are somehow destined for hell.

dont like it at all.

sick of this mentality

watch this and then leave me your thoughts...

first off - what an intelligent and articulate woman, masha'Allah!

my thoughts -

specifically on the man saying an open face can lead to temptation...

why dont men cover their faces? as a woman with hormones - a man's face is just as alluring as a woman's is to a man. when we look at an attractive man we are not attracted by his elbows or his knees or his neck - we are attracted to the face first and foremost so telling a woman to cover her face for this reason is ridiculous.

and to add to that - i swear i have never witnessed a man losing sexual control of himself because he glanced at a non-mahram woman's face in the street.

i dont believe niqab is fard/compulsory - i believe it is an option - an extra choice if you may but in no way do i believe it is something we must follow.

secondly - if he is the one experiencing temptation then it is his fault for looking twice in the first place. if you look at a woman/man that is attractive to you and you know it can lead to haram then look away as you are ordered to in the quran. its that simple.

you are actually ordered to lower your gaze FIRST in the quan, and then the clothing aspect comes into the verse.

im so over the screwed up mentality out there that we women are to blame for the lust of men. we cover in loose pants and loose tops and hijab and it is still not enough. so we switch the pants for long skirts and it still isnt enough. if wearing abaya - all clad in black - with no makeup and perfume is not enough then what do we do? do we put on niqab because some guy cant control himself and follow Allah's command to lower his gaze?

and what if we do put on niqab and gloves and black socks? then some will say he is attracted to our eyes as well! so we must hide our eyes as well?

so we start wearing an afghani type burka to hide our eyes in case they "lead him to temptation"?

and if he is still tempted, then what do we do once we have nothing left to hide?

should we lock ourselves up in our homes and never venture a foot outside to see the light of day because some man cant control himself? and what if that isnt enough?

what if the mere knowledge that a house he passes may contain a woman inside and that thought excites him and once again have that in some way lead him into temptation?

maybe we should go back to the days of burying female infants alive because they are obviously such a hindrance to some of the male species... (rolls eyes)

men - its up to you to control yourself. that is your honour. that is your modesty. it is not up to us to control your brain and your actions. we cant hide ourselves away from the world because you cant control yourself. and any men out there who are looking from woman's face to woman's face and getting all hot and bothered are obviously very weak men and need to work on their iman instead of ordering fully covered women out of sight. the problem lies with YOU, not US.

we are upholding our end of the agreement by covering - you should uphold yours by lowering your gaze if you find our hijab covered head too hot to handle.

Almighty Allah says: “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)” (An-Nur:30)

Imam Ibn Kathir wrote: "This is a command from Allah to His believing slaves to lower their gaze and refrain from looking at that which is forbidden to them. So they should not look at anything except that which they are permitted to look at, and they should lower their gaze and refrain from looking at forbidden things. If it so happens that a person’s gaze accidentally falls upon something forbidden, he should quickly avert his gaze."

for any men having trouble - read this regarding 20 ways you can lower your gaze.

disclaimer - the majority of muslim men dont have a problem with a woman's face but this blinded mentality sure does exist in the minds of a few.

love makeup?

like the video says "when you buy these products, YOU are giving the companies more funds to test on more animals!"

click here to find out if your favourite makeup line tests on animals.

as muslims we should not buy products that result from cruel testing such as this. its haram to use animals in these ways that cause them pain and suffering. please check the link and have a think about the products that you buy. instead buy from the many companies listed that do not test on animals.

there are many big name brands that do not test on animals and therefore have cruelty/guilt free products.

keep your: australis, estee lauder, coastal scents, MAC, revlon, avon, bare escentuals, bobbi brown, the body shop, clinique, dermologica, hello kitty, jurlique, KMS, LUSH, mary kay, nads, nutri-metics, OPI, palmers, prestige, stila, too faced, urban decay...

throw out your: l'oreal, clean & clear, johnson & johnson, garnier, dove, lancome, maybelline, max factor, olay, vichy, sunsilk, shiseido, listerine, neutrogena...

i just did a quick look through my beauty products (including face washes and shampoos, etc) and cleaned out everything on the "i love to hurt animals for my face" list. and i didnt give a crap about the amount of money i was throwing out - i feel so much better knowing one of Allah's innocents was not tortured just so i could slap some colour on my face or have clean hair.

remember to make good choices people!

if you do the same - let me know in the comments. and let me know what thoughts you have on the short video above.

one of the best lectures i have ever watched on hijab

take 8 minutes out of your life and watch this - muslim or not. actually this video is a great tool for getting non-muslims to understand our view on covering.

colours of the world

lucky you - two posts today...

this is one i wanted to write for a while and since i have down a bright red based outfit post underneath - i wanted to add this in.

im not at all against using colour and i dont believe we are meant to wear dark colours and only dark colours. i believe that is a cultural thing. (check your hadiths about the women of the sahaba wearing colours for proof).

if you wore something bright red, like in the outfit below, and wore it say on the streets of saudi arabia where everyone traditionally wears all black, then you are sure to cause a scene and would be looking like an attraction/distraction.

but if you wore the same outfit somewhere in egypt (where i am at the moment) then no one would give you a second look. women of all ages here wear bright colours all of the time, so you walking down the street here looking like a popsicle rainbow wouldnt look out of place. you wouldnt be an attraction - it would be considered normal. i have seen girls here in head-to-toe bright pink and they just seem to blend in with the crowd.

the same could be said for places like malaysia or indonesia where girls like their colourful outfits as well - some african cultures as well. in the west its kinda half-half. we are not immune to bright colours, but if you walk down the street looking like a bright green highlighter then people will stare. and at the same time - a hijabi wearing all black is a distraction on the street and is a sight that sticks out. i find in the west we are sort of in the middle of the colour spectrum. we dont go for overly bright colours and at the same time too dark is off-putting as well. i guess we are more in the 'neutrals' range of acceptance.

so i think the colour argument only really depends on where you live and what your particular culture stipulates as being too much.

a popular style for young muslimahs in egypt:

malaysian hijabies:
dark is traditional in saudi:

bright and patterned to the hills in india:

put one of the saudi sisters from the pic above smack bang in the middle of the indian lot and she will for sure look out of place.

where are you from and what is the norm where you live? are brights accepted? are darks? or are you living somewhere where the in-between is normal (such as the west)?

what would you do...

...if your family was muslim, yet they rejected the idea of you wearing hijab? how would you approach them? what would you do - not wear hijab to please them or go against their wishes and wear hijab for Allah? has anyone been in this situation before - and if so - what struggles did you face / how did you solve the situation? also - why were they against it?

thoughts... opinions... experiences...

Ramadan is coming...

...in a couple of days - depending on your mosque. everyone here is arguing over three different days. some people say its tomorrow, some say friday, others say saturday. anywho.... lets get onto the clothing.

this was a request for a taraweeh set. something that is purely about prayer shouldnt be a showcase, although unfortunately taraweeh prayer usually ends up being a catwalk for some. it should be simple, to the point and relevant. by 'relevant' i mean you dont need 50 jingling bangles, a face full of makeup, high heels or clothes entirely made from glitter sequins - you are there for prayer, not a disco. think of hajj wear and its simplicity. so for this reason the set i made is very low key. all you need is an abaya, your hijab, some slip-on shoes that you can leave at the masjid door and perhaps your water bottle. i usually take one with me to make up for the lack of water intake during the day.

for the masjid i really believe women should go in abaya/jilbab/etc. most of the girls who turn up for salat in pants usually end up having half their back/bum area exposed, underwear showing, etc and its really not nice (or appropriate) for the masjid, especially if you are the poor woman standing behind in the prayer line who gets an unwelcome eyeful on the way down to sujood. i have also seen this happen with some girls wearing skirts - skin being shown as they bend over because their top isnt long enough.

even for myself personally - during my first ramadan i turned up to the masjid as a new muslim, ignorant and uneducated about proper clothing. i was wearing jeans and a top that i considered as long because it reached about mid-thigh in length, however when i finished praying the women next to me stopped me on the way out and told me to wear something different next time because when i went into sujood my lower back was showing. so from that lesson i learnt that just because something is long enough by your standards as you stand in front of the mirror at home, it doesnt mean it will be long enough when your whole body is bending forward in a different position.

to stay on the safe side i would stick with an abaya that you can just throw on for the taraweeh prayer. if you dont wear abaya normally, it might be a good idea to keep an open style abaya/jilbab in your car so you can throw it on top of your clothes (you can wear the abaya/jilbab open as if you are wearing it as a jacket). its easy to wear, you dont need to worry about skin showing when you bend down and it is without a doubt the most accepted clothing item at the mosque.

by the way - i love this cute damask print water bottle. so cute!

Happy (coming) Ramadan and remember to keep it simple!

here we go again

you know what i think we all need to do? i think if you wear hijab then you should educate yourself on everything to do with hijab. i believe its your right and responsibility as a hijabi. so when those uneducated, over the top fools come in and attack you for wearing a yellow hijab, you can shed some light on their uneducated mind and reveal some evidence on the matter.

i keep getting comments from people (and ive seen them on other blogs as well) going off their head, leaving comments like this...

"black hijab is the right hijab"

"sister - girls can not wear colours, it attracts men"

now i dont know about you, but i have never seen a guy *ahem* in his pants from seeing a girl wear some turquoise. and if a guy does, then there are obviously some other issues going on that are more important.

if people only looked into the evidence, they would see that the sahaba wore colours. let me repeat - the women at the time of the prophet wore colours. no one lived their life in black. they wore jewellery. aisha is well known for wearing rings. there is documented evidence in the hadith about their hands being decorated with henna, ordered by the prophet to distinguish the male hand from the female hand. women wore kohl (eyeliner). that section in the quran where it talks about ordering women to "hide your adornments" - those 'adornments' are actually your breasts - its not talking about necklaces.

go look into it yourself. a muslim is allowed to decorate themselves within limits. they are allowed to look beautiful and presentable, within limits. (check out pixie's blog posts for detailed explanations on clothing related hadiths and islamic history).

i just get so bloody sick of uneducated/misinformed idiots who DONT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, going around saying "you cant wear a ring... haram! you cant wear any colour other than black... haram! colour attracts men... haram!"

lets ask a man, shall we?

i received this comment from a guy on this blog today, in response to another person's comment on women having to MUST wear black and it really made me laugh and thank him for his honest and very intelligent opinion.... (its a long one)....

If the topic is about whether Muslim women can or cannot wear color, and whether it drives men crazy or not, then for God's sake please take culture into account. If you go into Africa, all over you will see African women wearing brightly colored abaayas and robes and shawls and skirts. Bold blue, pretty pink, screaming yellow, garish green, obnoxious orange, and so on. BRIGHT colors. But its common. And because its so common to the Muslim african cultures, its not a problem there. It doesnt cause fitnah like it might if a Saudi woman were to dress in a yellow, orange and white ensemble in the middle of a Saudi or Iranian sea of black-abaaya clad women.

If you go to Turkey, women there frequently wear color and its very common. You come to North America, same thing. You go to Afghanistan, India or Pakistan, ... OHMYDAGWD they're all wearing COLORS!!! ... and you don't see men getting all excited about it.

You go to Indonesia and there the most common color for Muslim women in public, is an all-white chador. They all wear white! SHUCKS!

Seriously, please do not use women's fashion in Saudi as a yardstick to measure up other Muslim women worldwide. Because if you really want, I'll bust out the articles and accounts of those areas in Saudi where MARRIED WOMEN dont even show their faces INSIDE THEIR HOUSE to their own HUSBANDS. The guy has been married for 30 years, and he hasnt seen his wife's face. And its not just an isolated case.

So please, drop it with "You're either with Saudi or you're against Islam" way of thinking. Its not conducive to good mental or spiritual health. Islam was revealed for all humanity, and it didn't come to impose the Arabian customs of life on the entire world. That would be just absolutely retarded. Its about general principles and ethics that can be implemented anywhere regardless of geography, time, or language.

Last but not least - this is coming from a guy who's 28, young and built like a rock. Born and raised in the West, but still maintains cultural links to his homelands in Mideast Asia - the color pink has NEVER excited my loins. I honest-to-God do not know of a SINGLE GUY who gets all excited when seeing a pink dress on a girl. I find it an annoying color to be honest because so many girls I know go completely overboard with that color, doing their whole rooms and houses up in pink. What does excite my loins is that which is already known by everyone here, and the author of this website has referred to it subtly when she tells the ladies to stop wearing bum-tight jeans, or tight tops, or tight leggings, etc.

(thanks maverick) what do you think?

take ya doggy for a walk!

do any muslims out there keep dogs as pets?
i know we cant keep them in the house because angels wont enter if they are there, so you have to keep them outside. some muslims get this all twisted and then class dogs as haram and filthy. but the dog itself is not haram. no creature Allah made is haram. apparently some parts of the dog are najees (unclean) but the dog itself is not najees. its the same with pigs - we cant eat them, but there is nothing that says we must hate Allah's creation of the pig and class the animal as completely off-limits. people who think like this really get me angry - because no animal Allah made is haram. Allah does not hate these beautiful creatures, so nor should we! he simply placed certain rules around them prohibiting some things for us when dealing with them - whether they be eating or keeping inside the houes.

i, myself, love dogs. they are gorgeous and i always pat the ones hanging out the front of shops, waiting for their owners. i also truly believe they are the most loyal and obedient animals to humans. i have a beautiful dog back home as well that i give big hugs to when i see her. so in thinking of her, i give you this....

a winter abaya with coat "im taking the dog for a walk" look... (we dont dress out dogs like paris hilton, but in the harsh winter back home we do put a thick coat on them to keep them warm)...

"A prostitute was guided by God's truth and ultimately went to paradise because she gave water to a dog dying of thirst in the desert" (Bukhari & Muslim)

(summary - it is good and rewarded to give kindness to animals - in this case a dog)

Quran - (i am re-writing these directly from my quran at home - i dont know which translation it is)

Surah Al-Kahf - ayah 18... "You would have reckoned that they were awake though they were lying down. And we turned them over from one side to the other, right and left, while on the threshold lay their dog with his forelegs outstretched. If you had viewed them you would have run away from them, making your flight filled with horror."

Surah Al-Kahf - ayah 22... "Tossed with their controversies, the People of the Book were divived in opinion relative to the number of the young men, and in course of time, some will say "They numbered three, their dog was the fourth." Others will say, "Five, their dog the sixth," guessing at the Unseen; whereas other will say "Seven, and their dog the eighth."...

(summary - their dog was their companion. God tells us that they had their dog with them. Now if dogs are prohibited and dirty, would God speak of those dwellers of the Cave (who had a dog) as good believers?)

Surah Al-Ma'idah - ayah 4... "The believers ask you, Messenger, what is made lawful to them. Say to them, "The good things are made lawful to you. The hunting creatures you train as hounds, teaching them (part) of what Allah has taught you". So eat of whatever they hold back for you, and mention the name of Allah over it. And be pious and fear Allah by observing what He has decreed for you and never transgress. Surely Allah is swift at the reckoning."

(summary - it is accepted that we train and use dogs. if it is ok for us to eat what the dog had hunted for us - thus eating something that was inside the dog's mouth - then surely it is ok for us to touch dogs - hence dogs are not "haram" as some people ignorantly claim).

please remember that there are many contradicting hadiths. Some mention goodness from dogs, others mention the Prophet (saw) ordering the killings of dogs - which to my knowledge is classed as not an authentic hadith, so not to be believed. some are classed as not authentic and are to be dismissed completely. Also the hadith (while i follow it) are man's words - their memories of what the Prophet (saw) did and said, while the Quran is Allah's word, so if i find conflicting hadiths, i always refer back to the Quran for evidence if im not sure of a topic. this is one of these occasions.

this here is a good article to read concerning conflicting hadiths about dogs.

Naseeha

this great piece of advice on advice (lol) came from an email from one of my friends and i wanted to share it with you guys.

There’s an art and science behind Naseeha that we Muslims need to pick up on. Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (rahimuhullah) wrote a piece entitled “The Difference Between Naseeha and Ta’eer” which illustrates the difference between advising someone and chastising them. Using some bits from it and other sources, I found some ways we can properly practice Naseeha and increase our love and respect for our fellow Muslims. Naseehah is a wonderful weapon, but like most weapons, if the user does not know how to use it properly, it can cause more harm than good.

Giving Naseeha

Always give Naseeha sincerely. From the get go, you want to have clear intent that the reason why you’re advising this person is to please Allah (SWT) and find the truth of the issue at hand. Naseeha is not about who’s right and who’s wrong, or if either side is better or “holier” than the other. Both the giver and receiver should be striving for the truth, not to beat the other in a debate.

Ibn Rajab writes: (imam As Shafi’i) said, “I have never debated with someone except that I wished the truth becomes clear; regardless whether it comes from his tongue or mine”. This indicates that his intention was only that of to make the truth apparent, whether it is from himself or the from the person whom he differed with, and whoever thinks like this then there is no problem in refuting his statements by making clear his contradiction to the Sunnah, whether he is alive or dead. Also, give it kindly! Ever heard of the phrase, “it’s not what you say but how you say it”? This applies straight up to Naseeha.

Rudeness in Naseeha is usually the number one problem that makes people unwilling to accept it, so don’t let anger cloud your approach. You may be upset with the person you saw doing something wrong and you really want to give them a piece of your mind. Don’t. Being too harsh will destroy both your advice and your relationship with the person. Never underestimate the power of a smile (or a smiley face online!)

Naseeha has to be given secretly. Public embarrassment scars people for life and advising people in front of others can ruin everything you have to say to them. It also makes the Naseeha turn into Ta’eer, or chastising, because other people now hear about the mistakes and faults you’re advising your fellow Muslim on. Ibn Rajab says about Naseeha in secret:Naseehah is accompanied by covers (of faults) and Ta’eer is accompanied by publicity, as Imam Ash-Shafi’i said in a poem to the meaning of:
“whenever you want to advise me do so privately,and avoid advising publicly,because advising in the presence of people, is a form of embarrassment I am not pleased to listen to”

The salaf used to say “whoever commanded his brother (to do good) in a gathering where there are people, then he has exposed him.” This is why the salaf used to dislike commanding good and forbidding evil in this manner, and they preferred it (commanding good and forbidding evil) privately between two individuals, and this is from the signs of true Naseeha, because the purpose of Naseeha is not to spread people faults, but rather it is to remove the wrong that took place.

Be smart in regards to the setting of Naseeha. Time, place, mood, and method all can play a role. This is especially true when the mistake you’ve noticed has angered you and it might be better to hold off for a bit, letting tempers cool and time pass by. Also, it can really help to consider how you’re giving the person Naseeha. I have found, personally, that when I gave people Naseeha online via Email or Instant Messaging, because it was in writing and not in person I came off as sounding very harsh to friends and family. So I worked to change my tone, added smiley faces to my writing, and tried to give the advice in person more often, all of which have helped me. Factors like time, place, and mood vary depending on your scenario so use wisdom and be smart in choosing your time and method of advising others.

Finally, don’t force it. You can’t expect everyone to take action with what you think is right. Not only will you find it ineffective, it goes against the whole point of Naseeha: giving advice.

Shaykh Kamil Mufti wrote that Ibn Hazm commented on this, stating that if one gives Naseeha thinking that the person absolutely has to accept it, they are no longer advising; they are oppressing the person. “O people, remain conscious of God, forgive me my faults and help me in my task. Assist me in enforcing what is good and forbidding what is evil. Advise me regarding the obligations that have been imposed upon me by God…” - Umar ibn al-Khattab 12AH

Ange says:

soooo many people in the past and present have given me nasty comments in the thinly veiled excuse of 'advice'. for those who have - you didnt do anything good, you only pointed fingers, tried to embarrass and anger me - so your advice really went no where. i would like to thank all those people who have personally emailed me their concerns or naseeha. it shows a lot of respect and integrity on your part. so thank you.

some facts to think about for brothers looking to marry...

(based on the Prophet's Life)

The Prophet had 12 wives over his life time.

His 12 wives were:
Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid (first wife - for 25 years until her death)
Sawdah Bint Zamaah (widow)

Aisha Bint Abi Bakr (the only virgin)

Hafsah Bint Omar

Zainab Bint Khuzaymah

Umm Salamah a.k.a Hind Bint Otbah (widow)

Zainab Bint Jahsh

Juwayriyah Bint Al-Harith

Safiyah Bint Huyay Ibn Akhtab (Jewish)

Ummo Habibah Ramlah Bint Abi Sofian (widow)

Mariya Bint Shamoun (Egyptian & christian)

Maymonah Bint Al-Harith

ONLY ONE WAS A VIRGIN (Aisha). The rest were previously widows or divorced.

Safiya was a Jew and Mariya was a Christian.

He married Khadijah when he was 25 and she was 40 years old. They stayed married until she died, when he was 50 (25 year long marriage). He mourned her for 2 years and remarried at age 52. He married Sawdah, who was 80 years old, in order to honour her for becoming Islam's first widow.

It is said that Mohammed the Man married Khadijah, but Mohammed the Prophet married the rest.

From the ages of 52-60 he remarried several times for political and social reasons (bring tribes together, political alliances, etc). This was done many times throughout world and religious history.. others who were polygamous (in Islam - Biblical Sources) were Prophets: Ibrahim (Abraham), Dawood (King David) & Sulaiman (King Soloman).

A certain type of woman was not preferred above another:
The virginal status of the woman didnt matter - as in it was not important if she was previously married (therefore not a virgin). The age of the wife did not matter, whether very young or very old (as long as she had menstrual cycles a.k.a considered a woman in those days). Many girls, once they had reached puberty, were considered women in areas like Rome, Persia and Arabia. The social status of the wife did not matter. The religion of the wife did not matter (as long as she was from the People of the Book {Jewish, Muslim or Christian}).

He married for friendship ties and strengthening relationships:
He married Abi Bakr's daughter and Omar's sister to strengthen the relationship. He married his own daughters to Ali and Othman.

He married Mariya the Egyptian. Afterwards, the Egyptians sided with him and embraced Islam. After he married Juwayriyah, the people of her tribe, Bani Al-Mustalaq, embraced Islam after battling with the Muslims.

Why am I telling you this????

I write this in the hope of Brothers, who are looking to marry, to stop fussing over whether their prospective bride is a virgin or not. Whether she was married before. Whether she is Christian or Jewish.

Many of the mothers of these wanting-to-marry Brothers go crazy about making sure their sons marry 'innocent' virgins, who come from a good muslim family (good usually by their own cultural standings and class - not by islamic standards). They reject and veto any thought of their precious son marrying a girl who is a Christian or a Jew... or even a Muslim girl who was previously married and now divorced. They even prefer a younger girl and subhanna'Allah they will reject a prospective girl just because she is maybe one or two years older than the boy, even though our beloved Prophet married his first wife who was 15 years older! Subhanna'Allah!

Sons and Mothers - please think about the Prophet's marital life and experiences and what is really preferred for a husband. Stop fussing over age, virginity, social class and status, etc.

Think about what marital life really needs - a caring, devout, religious, kind, devoted, well mannered, respectful, loving wife who will take beautiful care and love of her husband and any children they have together.

Because marrying an attractive virgin from a wealthy, well classed family WILL NOT guarantee any man's happiness or a secured Islamic future.

Dressing for Salat

Cuties::::

Masha'Allah to this girl....

but just a quick question... can we even pray if we are uncovered?

The Prophet (SAW) said, "None of you should offer Salat in a single garment that does not cover one’s shoulders." (Sahih - Al-Bukhari)

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The Prophet (SAW) said, "The Salat of a woman, who has reached puberty, is not accepted unless she is wearing a Khimar (hijab)." (Sahih - Al-Khamsa except An-Nasaa’ee)

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Umm Salamah asked the Prophet (peace be upon him): “Could a woman pray in a gown and a head covering without a waistcloth?”The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Yes, if the gown is long and covers her feet from above.” [Sunan Abî Dâwûd].

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even the bible says:

1 Corinthians 11:5-10 "And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head"

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“O children of Adam! Wear your beautiful apparel (zeenah) at every time and place of prayer”. (Surah al-A’raf, 31).

And remember - whether you are at the masjid or at home praying, whether you are in a room full of people or by yourself at home - you must cover at all times during prayer.

getting married - muslimah style

Weddings are such a fuss. I didnt fuss over my own.

You wanna know how i got married?

My husband and I went with his friend (who is a sheikh) to a masjid, where another Sheikh married us within 5 minutes. We had two random men who were there for Isha Prayer as our witnesses. We had a quick chat with the Sheikh, he pronounced us married and thats it. After that his friend took us to a local service station where we had our celebratory drink of orange juice in the car. We went home as husband and wife. Thats it.

I wore a plain black abaya and a plain purple hijab. I dont remember the shoes because i had to take them off to go inside the mosque, but knowing me they were probably a pair of black thongs.

So i had no reception, no walima, not guests, no pictures, no honeymoon, (i went to work the next day), no lavish hotel room... nothing. And i wouldnt have it any other way. Parties and big celebrations with me being the centre of them is not my thing. I dont like attention and I dont like people focusing on me.. so this ceremony suited me and my husband fine (he is the same as me regarding celebrations and doesnt even attend other people's weddings because he hates them). i dont even make a fuss over birthdays. mine are usually just a private affair.

My family was on the other side of Australia and his family was all the way in Egypt.

I didnt have to fork out thousands and thousands on food, dresses, entertainment, etc. I didnt have to go through months of planning. My husband wanted a plain Islamic ceremony, which is what we had - no mixed male & female setting, no dance floor, no music, no singles table where the single men stare out the single girls.

Most people when they hear about my simple wedding they ask "oohh didnt you want a nice big white dress, a party, lots of presents, a honeymoon, a room full of guests, a special day for you?"

Well.. not really. Wallahi i just wanted my husband. I got that and Alhamdulilah, thats all i wanted, so why ask for more? (but i definitely wouldve said yes to a honeymoon - i would say yes to a holiday anytime). I was more interested and invested in the actual MARRIAGE - my commitment to my husband, our relationship, our life together, our home, our future - than worrying and fussing over one very expensive day.

I cant believe people actually take out massive loans to pay for their weddings!

But if i did have the big wedding these are the choices i would make:::

I would wear this beautiful modest dress from here (only $400!!!)::

I love it because it isnt one of those strapless dresses that muslim girls get a hold of and make ugly with a tight skinned top underneath it or lace sleeves that are completely see-through. I have no idea why girls do that. Firstly it looks ugly and secondly it ruins the modesty of your hijabiness. Strapless dresses are always going to be too form fitting around your bust - NOT MODEST.

Another thing i would do is wear proper hijab. I am a FULL TIME HIJABI not a hijabi who has a "special occasion clause" in her hijab contract that stipulates she can take the thing off when she is looking her most beautiful with her makeup and hair professionally done for her wedding.

Also, too many girls wear that stupid spanish style (which IS NOT hijab by the way as it doesnt cover your chest). So of course with your hijab not covering your strapless dress you will be increasing the immodesty of the look.

Here is a hijab style i would wear:::

I think it matches the dress perfectly. sorry girls - i dont know where to get this particular hijab from - but im sure considering how plain it is, that you can pick something similar up from elsewhere.

But clothing aside - a really good piece of advice straight from me to you - is to remember that your marriage is more important than your wedding. dont focus so much on the perfect dress, perfect dinner, the perfect wedding hall, perfect dinner settings and focusing on making sure the guests have a good time.. you should be focusing on preparing yourself for your new role as a wife. Find out and research your rights and responsibilities as wife, how to create and maintain a successful Islamic lifestyle and home and finding out more about your husband, as he is your partner in life from that day on.

Make sure you focus on what is really important - not just one day that will pass very quickly! And think about the financial side of things - instead of spending lavish and ridiculous amounts of money on a wedding - how about using that money for your home or saving it for the future or a rainy day?

Remember we are Allah's people - we are Muslims - we are simple people and we are not meant to go to extremes in anything. So i say Yes! to a simple wedding.

hijab cartoons that i will narrate

OK so humour me a bit while i humour you.. i do not know what this arabic means in the pics, so i will invariably make up my own conclusions based on the cartoons. If you read arabic please tell me how wrong i am and what the pics really say:::

#1:
Muslim men love a pious woman. They take pride in her hijab and modest clothing. they love her look and her religious nature... when they are married. When they are single they will climb over each other to get to the uncovered skin-flashing woman and compete for her attention, thus ignoring the pious hijabi... even though the uncovered girl has an effed up krusty the klown side-ways afro and a head like a horse:::

#2:

Woman - "What the hell are you looking at? Lower you gaze stupid man.. im a HIJABI.. the disrespect these days... Where have the pious men gone to?"
Man - "Where have the pious women gone to?"

#3:
Girl - "Mum... Dad... Thankyou so much for bringing me up Muslim. I love Islam! I lvoe you guys! Thankyou for instilling good character, morals and modesty in me. Im so happy im a hijabi!!! May Allah reward you for all you have done"
Mum & Dad - "May Allah forgive us for what we have done.. is this our daughter?"

#4:
Hijab in reverse - thanks to fashion, trends and the need to be Western.

#5:

Shaytaan: "Come on.. you know you want to.. look at the fun and enjoyment they are having.. dont you want to be in love, walking around free with your very own habibi... go on.. go on and enjoy your youth.. youre only young once... it all starts with taking off your hijab, dont worry about study so much... loosen up a bit.. you can even swap your abaya for fugly orange flares and cowboy boots and an ugly dude that looks like the Fonz"

#6:
No need for guesses...

#7:
Man - "OMG OMG OMG OMG"

Hijabies - "Filthy.. how can she dress like that? all her body accentuated and her hair out sticking out.. Ya Allah..."

#8:

"We love Islam. We love Allah. We are Muslims and abide my God's given law. Pass the sheesha"

#9:

"My hijab is in my heart" (note that in the cartoon her hijab is actually her hair)

#10:

'Hijabies' - "We are sooo better than this girl.. i mean seriously.. she calls herself a muslim and doesnt wear hijab? Astaghfurullah... how can she dress like THAT with her deen is Islam?"

#11:

Girl - "ahhh a fellow hijabi in Ramadan!!" (ok so i can make out a few words)

Real Hijabi - "Oh dear god"

man - "Oh Allah save me from the fire"

What do you think/know they say?

alcohol.. how i love loath thee (sometimes)

i got asked a question concerning a recent post about nail polish and the fact that it contains alcohol... and so does perfume.. and with alcohol being haram to muslims.. shouldnt these fall into the same catagory.

A very good question...

Now, i dont drink alcohol or eat foods with alcohol in it. but alcohol in nail polish? im not too concerned about that. its just like alcohol in cleaning products and certain medicines.. even things like antibacterial wipes used for cleaning up bleeding wounds have alcohol in them. even most handwashes, cosmetics, facewashes, toothpastes, baby wipes, soaps, perfumes, mouth washes and disinfectants contain some form of alcohol.

i clean my kitchen with chemicals and products that contain alcohol. i wash my face with a product that contains alcohol. my toilet gets cleaned with a product that contains alcohol. i wash my car with some products that contain alcohol. i use a perfume that contains alcohol. when i hurt myself and need to fix a wound, i use an antibacterial wipe (that contains alcohol) to clean the injured/bloodied area.

if i went in for some kind of surgery and they were going to use some medicine or antibacterial thing on me that contained alcohol, i would let them. its just like gelatine. i dont eat pork or pork products and make i dont eat bacon for breakfast, but i have knowingly said "yes" to having a medical injection that contains gelatine. i recently had a cervical cancer vaccination that contained gelatine. trust me, i would rather the tiny amount gelatine be inserted in my arm than risk having cervical cancer.

it all comes down to your intention in the end. i feel safe in my belief that Allah knows my intentions and that im not drinking or advocating an alcoholic lifestyle or telling your darling children to go out and write themselves off drunk.

For example if i had to have some sort of surgery, i wouldnt not turn up to the hospital because of some form of alcohol in the medicine or antibacterial swaps that they were intending to use on me.

its all about intention. someone may say that what i just said is 100% haram and i should stay away from ALL forms of alcohol (even antibacterial handwash). but i can only do what i think is best for me and go by my intentions. If you do have another opinion and are stongly against my view on it, then Alhamdulilah and by all means do what is best for YOU. We should all research this for ourselves and come to our own conclusions.

Dont just rest on what a certain scholar said and live your life by that and refusing to search deeper into it or hear any counter arguments. Do your own research, sift through and examine hadiths, Quran and scholary opinions (not just one - not all jurists agree on everything) and live according to YOUR own conclusions. Because on Judgement day these scholars and other people will not stand up for you. Only you can speak for you.

i think you have to personally weigh up things and make your own decision concerning these affairs. Im not disregarding scholars in anyway.. but i continuously come across scholars who have disagreeing opinions, jurists who say one thing is permissible while another says its not. I think its great to read, examine and ponder on their conclusions, but at the end of the day you really have to come to your own conclusion based on what you have researched.
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Here are 2 such scholary opinions on the issue:::

Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi, former president of the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA):
“There are many types of alcohol, actually there are hundreds of members in alcohol family. Among them ethyl is the best known and this alcohol is generally used in beverages. There are some types of alcohol that are denatured and are used in perfumes and other cleansing agents. The rubbing alcohol does not contain ethyl alcohol. It is dangerous for drinking and may cause blindness and death. The external use of such alcohol is not forbidden in Islam. According to the Qur’an and Sunnah, it is Haram to drink alcohol or alcoholic beverages. Even a small amount of alcohol is Haram and it must be avoided. However, jurists have differed on the Najasah or the physical impurity of alcohol. Some of them consider it Najis (impure), meaning that if it touches the body and clothes then it must be washed. There are others who do not consider it Najis. There are many jurists who have allowed the use of rubbing alcohol and the use of perfumes that contain alcohol.

Al-Azhar House of Fatwa issued the following Fatwa:
"In Islam, it is unanimously held that all things are supposed to be deemed pure, and that it is not necessary that all what is declared forbidden is considered impure. This is because impurity is a legal ruling that needs evidence. For example, drugs and fatal poisons are forbidden, yet this by no means qualify them to be impure. For this reason, some scholars including Rabi`ah, Al-Layth Ibn Sa`d, Al-Muzani (the companion of Ash-Shafi`i) and some other scholars hold that wine is pure regardless of its being unlawful, and that only drinking it is forbidden. However, the majority of jurists are of the view that wine is impure and forbidden. Thus, we conclude that all that is impure is deemed forbidden, but not vice versa. This is because regarding something as impure is to forbid any physical contact with it, whereas regarding something as unlawful is not necessarily to forbid any contact with it. To illustrate, wearing gold and silk is unlawful (for men), yet they are considered pure by the consensus of scholars and thus can be touched by men. As far as perfumes containing alcohol is concerned, they consist of many ingredients like water, perfume, and alcohol that comprises the highest percentage. It is known that alcohol is produced from sugarcane by way of distillation. Thus, according to the juristic rule, which states that all things are presumed to be originally pure and that being prohibited does not render something impure, perfumes that contain alcohol are pure, particularly if we bear in mind that they are used for cleaning and perfuming the body. Thus, it is permissible to use these perfumes and there is nothing wrong in that."

What do you say?

The Salam & The Hijab

Had a bit of an experience today.

I went shopping in a big busy mall. Many hijabies were around. I was on my way to the bathroom when I walked past two hijabies and said "Salam" and smiled. What response did i get? Blank stares and silence. They just looked at me and ignored my Salam.

That made me feel a tad bit down. Literally ten seconds later i opened the door that led to the corridor that led to the Ladies bathroom. There was a female cleaner in the corridor. I didnt take much notice of her until I saw her big smile. I smiled back and she said cheerfully "Assalamu Alaikum. How are you?" with a big smile on her face!

I was so happy. I left thinking "Subhanna'Allah!!!"..

these hijabies may look the part in their hijabs but they dont even display the basics of really being muslim. And then there was the non-hijabi woman who i didnt even know was muslim until she said Salam to me in the hallway on the way to the bathroom.

The funny thing is, is this isnt the first time this has happeneded to me. Soooooo many times i have said Salam to a sister and all i get back is a blank stare. It's like if they dont personally know you then they wont return your salam. But when i get a sister who salams me i get all happy and warm inside and remember that we indeed belong to some form of an Ummah.

I remember my cutest salam ever. I was walking with my husband down the street and we walked past a halal takeaway store. there was a little girl waiting outside with her family. she actually ran all the way up to me and said "SALAM!! SALAM!! SALAM!!". She was so excited. we laughed and returned her salam. she kept walking beside us smiling, then returned to her parents, who were also laughing, while she was shouting "mummy i met more muslims!". She was so damn cute!

Another salam story that isnt so cute was when i was accused of being rude and arrogant towards a sister because i apparently "refused to say salam to her".

I was in a non-muslim gathering and i was talking to a muslim girl. Two of her friends came up while we were talking. One was a hijabi, the other was not. I said Salam to the hijabi and "Hi" to the non-hijabi. That was it. Later the non-hijabi came up to me and went off at me because i was apparently rude and arrogant for not salaming her.

I was like "WTF?".. because firstly i didnt even know she was Muslim. I told her that. I said "sorry.. salam.. i didnt know you were muslim". Then she got angry at me and accused me of talking down to her and somehow twisted what i said into me apparently saying she wasnt muslim because she didnt wear hijab. My response was "sorry sister.. i didnt realise you were muslim because you werent in hijab and you didnt say salam to me either, so i assumed you were a non-muslim. but in any case i still greeted you in a friendly way.. so really whats the problem?"

So what made me angry about this girl is she is a non-hijabi, who didnt dress modestly AT ALL and she didn't Salam me either. Then she got in my face about ME being rude to her. But excuse me, but the girl didnt show any signs of being muslim.. so how was i to know?

The hijab is like our uniform if you will. When you see a girl in hijab, no matter how educated or uneducated you are about Islam, you know straight away that the girl is muslim. Even non-muslims who know absolutely nothing about islam will see a girl in a headscarf and automatically recognise her as muslim. The Hijab is our uniform. The hijab is like our religious I.D card. It says "MUSLIM" straight away. Hence me saying "Salam" straight away to a hijabi.

Now if a girl doesnt wear hijab, how the hell would i know automatically that she is muslim? Truth is, i wouldnt. The next thing would be to talk to her and usually from what they say you would be able to tell if she was a muslim. First off she didnt say Salam to me. I did say "hi" first and i got a "hi" back. If she had of replied "salam" to my "hi" then i would have returned her salam and recognised her as a muslim.

For example, i was in a perfume shop and the very pretty girl behind the counter was smiling at me. She was dressed in usual Aussie clothing. It wasnt until she opened her mouth and said Salam to me that i recognised her as a muslim.

So basically the moral of this story is.... SAY SALAM!!!!!

if you are in hijab you are automatically recognisable as a muslimah.. SO SAY SALAM!!!

if you are not in hijab and are not instantly recognisable as a muslimah.. then SAY SALAM!!!

if you dont wear hijab and dont say salam then dont get angry when we rightly assume you are not muslim.

And more importantly.. when a stranger says SALAM to you... then for God's sake dont stare like a stunned fish and ignore us.. SAY SALAM!!!