getting married - muslimah style

Weddings are such a fuss. I didnt fuss over my own.

You wanna know how i got married?

My husband and I went with his friend (who is a sheikh) to a masjid, where another Sheikh married us within 5 minutes. We had two random men who were there for Isha Prayer as our witnesses. We had a quick chat with the Sheikh, he pronounced us married and thats it. After that his friend took us to a local service station where we had our celebratory drink of orange juice in the car. We went home as husband and wife. Thats it.

I wore a plain black abaya and a plain purple hijab. I dont remember the shoes because i had to take them off to go inside the mosque, but knowing me they were probably a pair of black thongs.

So i had no reception, no walima, not guests, no pictures, no honeymoon, (i went to work the next day), no lavish hotel room... nothing. And i wouldnt have it any other way. Parties and big celebrations with me being the centre of them is not my thing. I dont like attention and I dont like people focusing on me.. so this ceremony suited me and my husband fine (he is the same as me regarding celebrations and doesnt even attend other people's weddings because he hates them). i dont even make a fuss over birthdays. mine are usually just a private affair.

My family was on the other side of Australia and his family was all the way in Egypt.

I didnt have to fork out thousands and thousands on food, dresses, entertainment, etc. I didnt have to go through months of planning. My husband wanted a plain Islamic ceremony, which is what we had - no mixed male & female setting, no dance floor, no music, no singles table where the single men stare out the single girls.

Most people when they hear about my simple wedding they ask "oohh didnt you want a nice big white dress, a party, lots of presents, a honeymoon, a room full of guests, a special day for you?"

Well.. not really. Wallahi i just wanted my husband. I got that and Alhamdulilah, thats all i wanted, so why ask for more? (but i definitely wouldve said yes to a honeymoon - i would say yes to a holiday anytime). I was more interested and invested in the actual MARRIAGE - my commitment to my husband, our relationship, our life together, our home, our future - than worrying and fussing over one very expensive day.

I cant believe people actually take out massive loans to pay for their weddings!

But if i did have the big wedding these are the choices i would make:::

I would wear this beautiful modest dress from here (only $400!!!)::

I love it because it isnt one of those strapless dresses that muslim girls get a hold of and make ugly with a tight skinned top underneath it or lace sleeves that are completely see-through. I have no idea why girls do that. Firstly it looks ugly and secondly it ruins the modesty of your hijabiness. Strapless dresses are always going to be too form fitting around your bust - NOT MODEST.

Another thing i would do is wear proper hijab. I am a FULL TIME HIJABI not a hijabi who has a "special occasion clause" in her hijab contract that stipulates she can take the thing off when she is looking her most beautiful with her makeup and hair professionally done for her wedding.

Also, too many girls wear that stupid spanish style (which IS NOT hijab by the way as it doesnt cover your chest). So of course with your hijab not covering your strapless dress you will be increasing the immodesty of the look.

Here is a hijab style i would wear:::

I think it matches the dress perfectly. sorry girls - i dont know where to get this particular hijab from - but im sure considering how plain it is, that you can pick something similar up from elsewhere.

But clothing aside - a really good piece of advice straight from me to you - is to remember that your marriage is more important than your wedding. dont focus so much on the perfect dress, perfect dinner, the perfect wedding hall, perfect dinner settings and focusing on making sure the guests have a good time.. you should be focusing on preparing yourself for your new role as a wife. Find out and research your rights and responsibilities as wife, how to create and maintain a successful Islamic lifestyle and home and finding out more about your husband, as he is your partner in life from that day on.

Make sure you focus on what is really important - not just one day that will pass very quickly! And think about the financial side of things - instead of spending lavish and ridiculous amounts of money on a wedding - how about using that money for your home or saving it for the future or a rainy day?

Remember we are Allah's people - we are Muslims - we are simple people and we are not meant to go to extremes in anything. So i say Yes! to a simple wedding.