Hijab Rules Rant

Do you ever get sick of them?

I mean, if you have been wearing hijab for a few years then you probably already know what is roughly appropriate for today's current Muslim society. I say today's society because it changes all the time. Actually even all cultures today don't agree and abide by one set of rules. Many cultures from areas like certain African countries and the Iranian/Afghani/Indian region don't even fully cover their head and leave a bit of hair showing and that is enough hijab for many.

I'm not even sure that is wrong... or right... or whatever. Maybe it just is what it is.

A lot of the rules we have have been decided upon interpretation of hadiths and the Quran (99.9% of the time by men - who obviously don't even wear hijab) and not all of them agree with the rest. Add in your own specific cultural interpretation of women's clothing and it could alter it slightly or change it all. I've been doing a lot of thinking about this issue lately and wondering what is hijab really?

Is hijab in its purest form the simple essence of modesty, of making sure you look decent on the street? Or is it a long list of strict rules we must abide by and if we don't we must be lectured by everyone under the sun about it?

I saw so many different types of hijab on my recent trip to Malaysia. The place was packed with international tourists so I got to see a myriad of different Muslim nationalities and their hijab style. The Khaleeji girls were mostly in head to toe black. Some with niqab, some without, some with piled on drag queen style makeup, some with a more natural look. Then there were the Iranian women. Most were in trousers and loose tops, most dressed with a loose scarf with some of their hair showing. Most Malaysian or Indonesian women also wore pants or long skirts with a slip-on hijab style (tudung); I came across a lot that were wearing short sleeved shirts with their arms bare due to the heat (I was so jealous - I was suffering in my abaya in that weather).

You could've picked any of these women, stood them aside and judged them for what they were wearing: "Oh she has her lower arm showing, her hair is showing, she's wearing pants, she's not wearing niqab, she is wearing niqab, she is wearing makeup, she has this, she has that, blah blah blah..." which is what a lot of us do.

We seem to pick each other to pieces for the smallest of things with our dress, which makes me think is this really hijab? Is this what God meant for us when we were told to cover? Or were we told to cover simply to ensure we weren't walking around with our privates on display for everyone to ogle at?

Pre-Islamic Arabian times: women didn't cover their chests - hence the ayah ordering women to cover their "adornments" so they wouldn't be hassled on the streets. Adornments does not refer to your rings or your bracelets. Men are not going to hassle you if you are wearing a necklace, ladies. They are more prone to go for the women who at that time walked around the streets with their boobies uncovered like "Hey, how's it going? Just walking to the shop to get some milk... with my boobs in the air. Everyone look at these." *points*. It was custom for women in Pre-Islamic Arabia (including non-Muslims) to cover their hair (as men also did - probably to keep the desert sand out) but not their chest, hence the ayah ordering women to extend their head-covering to ensure their chest (adornments) were also covered - we could argue for modesty's sake.

If we see hijab as a long list of strict rules then we will pick on each other for a wisp of hair showing or a foot showing, etc. If we see hijab as just a way for us to be dressed modestly then we won't pick on each other. There would be no need for stupid discussions on whether some girl we don't even know has her top too tight or not long enough.

I used to be like that 100% - very judgemental and quick to pick outfits to pieces. Thank God now I have changed. Now it just pisses me off when instead of seeing the good in something, there always has to be someone who tears it to pieces because they just have to let everyone know that it doesn't fit in with their definition of hijab.

Not even scholars agree on it all. Some people believe you shouldn't see the feet, or the face or even the hands. Thankfully most people don't agree because I'm really not ok with being a walking pair of eyes. That might suit some people but not me. I would just feel dehumanised, like I wasn't even allowed to be seen.

Also, modesty changes depending on what society you are in and what time you are living in. That is something to keep in mind when you look at other people and start to nitpick at them.

When I was on my little holiday I saw so many different types of dress with hijab and no matter how different they were they all had one common feature - they were all modest in their own way and it made me think "Wow, this is the real hijab." It was modesty in clothing in so many different ways. There was not only one type of dress.

There was only once when I was on my trip that I started "tsk tsk" to myself over a hijabi who was wearing lace tights (with all of her leg and underwear showing through the lace of course) with a lowcut tight tank top that ended where her tights started and some kind of carina invention that covered her arms and basically stopped at her arm pits.

I could see her boobs. I dont mean the outline or shape of them, I mean actual boobage. Her scarf and top covered nothing, no matter how many times she tugged at her tiny scarf. Then from the side there was a massive space where you saw the complete sides of her black bra and all the skin around that area. All I kept thinking was "this girl thinks hijab is just about a scarf on her head and that's it". I was just astonished. For two reasons. One - that she would even dress like that anyway (Muslim or not, it was just trashy). Two - she was with what looked like her sister, both of their husbands, children and what seemed to be someone's father and none of them seemed to be bothered by it.

I was thinking about going up to her and just saying "Just letting you know that I can see your... everything" so she could fix it, but then I thought "You know what? This girl should know what hijab is. And even if she doesn't she has her sister and three other men who seem to be related to her that should tell her. So it's not my place." And left her dress disaster to herself.

I've never been the type to go up to a stranger and tell them what to do but it was honestly so gross that I felt like I had to say something. I just felt so embarrassed and ashamed for her, but in the end I decided to not say anything at all because it might just come across as bitchy when I didn't mean it that way. Besides, from the way she was constantly tugging to unsuccessfully cover her breasts with her scarf, it was obvious she knew and was conscious about the fact that all she owned was on display. Plus all the Gulf women walking past her were giving her THE dirtiest looks, so there is no way she didn't already know.

That little incident just added another slice of proof to my thinking that hijab isn't just about a scarf on your head. It is about complete modesty that should start with your body and end with your scarf. I have friends who don't wear hijab and most of the time their outfits are a lot more modest than some hijabies I see.

What do you think? Is hijab to you about the essence of modesty or about following a list of rules? No one is right or wrong - just a discussion and airing of views. Leave your thoughts below.

not hijab

i havent done those kind of posts for a while because im kinda over the whole judging thing and really, who are we to say what is hijab and what isnt.

we can say "oh clearly, this ayah/hadith PROVES that you cant do this or that..." when really we should be saying "oh clearly, this ayah/hadith suppports my INTERPRETATION that you cant do this or that..."

we dont all agree on what the meaning of certain verses or hadiths are and we KNOW this, yet we are quite happy to be like "youre so wrong. look at you in all your wrongness."

i saw a video today on youtube where someone had made a section of "this is not hijab" in it and posted pics of girls whom she considered to not have proper hijab. most of them i considered to be quite modest and i honestly couldnt pick a fault with the majority of them.

i think ive mellowed quite a bit in that regard. a  couple of yeasrs ago i used to be all about the judging and tsk-tsking over what other people wore but now i think i have become quite reflective in my thinking and when it comes down to it, why do we really care what other people wear?

im sure the majority of people who do get in your face about someone else's hijab style or choice of dress, isnt doing it for the right reasons. they can pretend and swear that they are publicly reminding you that you cant wear earrings, or wear pants, or wear colours, or show your face/hands/feet, or blah blah blah, all for the sake of Allah, but in reality the people who truly care about whether a stranger goes to Jannah or not is not the type of person to degrade you or make you feel so bad about yourself that instead of showing concern they have just rubbed your face in the dirt all because your dress doesnt meet their standards. and i repeat THEIR standards. you do not have to agree with them.

we all have our own opinion when it comes to the rules of dressing. even the most learned of islamic scholars do not 100% agree on all the little tidbits and rules associated with women's dress. if they did, then we would all be wearing one giant black uniform, with no individuality.

we are one big giant community of muslims, that sometimes forget that the things that make up this community are individuals, with individual thoughts, individual opinions and individual interpretations. basically we dont all agree on absolutely everything and we never will. in a way - that is beautiful. variety is the splice of life.

if you dont agree with the way someone dresses, then keep this is mind before voicing your opinion:

• why do you really care about how another woman dresses? is it because you care for this stranger's soul or are you just prone to judging? could it be jealousy? negativity?
• do you really need to say anything? do you really need to leave a nasty anon comment on the girl's youtube video, facebook pic or blog?
• do you really know it all? maybe her hijab is wrong in your eyes, but is perfect in God's eyes? maybe there is nothing wrong with her hijab style at all...
• what do you need to work on? are you perfect?
• what do you really expect to happen by stating your judgement?
• who asked you for your opinion in the first place? is the person you are judging asking for your opinion or are you just in the mood for handing out the "you're so wrong" card to a stranger?
• how bad is her outfit really? lets see... she is completely covered in loose clothing. her ears and neck are covered. the only thing showing are her face and hands from what we can see. she hasn't painted her face in six tonnes of makeup. she speaks well and is polite, well-natured, seems like a lovely woman, etc... so what is that you are really clutching at straws over?
• do you like it when people judge you?

in a perfect world we would all accept each other for the individuals that we are and see the beauty in everyone. in a perfect world we would never judge or be negative towards someone else in a public format over the stupidest and tiniest of things. in a perfect world we wouldnt harp on about the mistakes of others, if they are mistakes at all.

honestly i cant ever recall a time when i have heard a muslim guy go on about how badly another muslim guy dresses - it seems to be a phenomenon that only happens within the female islamic community. i know, due to human nature that it would never happen, but wouldnt it be great if we could look at a perfect stranger and point out the positive instead of the negative all the time?

wouldnt that be a more islamic way to live than telling everyone else what is and isnt islamic about the clothes they wear?

i got myself in the paper! (burqa ban)

its not even really a debate here to be honest. i think the whole thing is just a bad pop up ad in reaction to the french ban.

anyway there was an article in an australian paper here where the minister of women's interests (i dont know how she is the minister of that considering her ignorant views on women who happen to have different values) was trying to persuade niqabi women to uncover their face because they are oppressed and blah blah blah...

i got pissed off by her views and wrote into the paper, to which they responded and asked me for an interview, which i gave. here is the original article:

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/newshome/9164702/burqa-a-blight-on-women-minister/

and here is what i wrote in:

I'm quite pissed off about your news article above.

Once again you speak about Muslim women yet not one single Muslim woman appears in your article. It is just some woman mouthing off about things she doesn't know about, backed up by a man who has no idea what it is like to cover, nor has he chosen to cover. Both cannot and do not represent the Muslim Woman - the main focus of that article.

I am an young, university educated Australian (Anglo-Irish background) who has converted to Islam and I cover. I do not cover my face (like the man in your article, I also do not believe it is a part of the religion) but I know a few who do (and let me emphasis the word FEW because in our community it is indeed the very small MINORITY who do cover their face and those that do are not forced, oppressed or any other negative thing ignorant and uneducated people tend to throw at the issue). This woman who is apparently the Minister for Women's Interests (obviously not for the interest of ALL women) has obviously never sat down and spoken to a woman who wears the niqab. She is just pulling this "oppressed" bullshit out of her own prejudice and ignorance. Her quotes only force the very false perception that we are subjected to violence -

"if doing so would not cause them to be physically hurt or to be placed in any danger". Why mention that at all?

It is obvious that she holds onto a very small ideal of the Muslim woman - one that is not fair, understanding or true.

I know what that is like because I used to be like her. I had never properly spoken to a Muslim so everything I thought about Islam and the Muslim community was rubbish I was fed from the (usually bias) media and the closed minded ignorance of other (usually racist and prejudice) people. That was until I actually had dealings and proper conversations with Muslims which educated me out of my closed mindedness.

The Burqa really isn't a big deal. I have seen maybe twelve people in Perth with my eyes that actually wear it. TWELVE. Not really a huge number we should be concerned about and if you actually asked one of them I am sure they will tell you they have chosen to wear it for themselves.

If a woman wants to wear a burqa or a bikini then who really cares? Freedom of choice. We pretend we have it here in Australia, yet when someone chooses to dress as per their choice then other people start saying they shouldn't and trying to discourage or even ban it. Where is the so-called freedom in that?!

Please next time ask a Muslim woman who actually wears the burqa

during the interview i was asked many questions about hijab and my choices by a lovely reporter who i then passed on to a few friends for their input (including the niqabi interviewed). here is the resulting follow-up article she wrote:

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/breaking/9170821/muslim-women-defend-their-choice-to-cover-up/

in the end im happy i wrote in to express my views because it actually led to something - a niqabi being interviewed about her views on the burqa debate in a fair manner - something that not a lot of news media sources do.

the whole experience just proved to me that you should speak up to the right people when you dont like how muslims or islam is treated. usually we sit on our backsides and complain about the muslim image in the media, and yet we do nothing constructive to voice our opinions. next time write in and you just might come across someone who will listen and present your argument like i did!

i hate this picture

i get the meaning behind it, but i still dont like it. as if women who dont wear hijab or abaya and choose jeans and heels instead are somehow destined for hell.

dont like it at all.

hijab health talk

being pregnant has made me focus more on my body, my health - what goes in and what is lacking in my health related areas. after getting blood test results back i was hit with the news that not only am i low in vitamin D - that im basically deficient in it.

then my doctor proceeded to tell me that this is extremely common in covered muslim women. i basically had no idea what vitamin D was or what it did so i did some research.

vitamin D is the nutrient that we get naturally and foremost from the sun, which assists in calcium absorption. what happens if we dont get enough of it?

Vitamin D insufficiency can result in thin, brittle, or misshapen bones, while sufficiency prevents rickets in children and osteomalacia in adults, and, together with calcium, helps to protect older adults from osteoporosis. Vitamin D also modulates neuromuscular function, reduces inflammation, and influences the action of many genes that regulate the proliferation, differentiation and apoptosis of cells. (wikipedia)

now since we hijabi girls are covered and our skin doesnt see the sun that much it seems most of us may be lacking in the vitamin D department. so besides going to the extreme and stripping completely naked while dancing under the sun, what can we do to ensure we get this essential vitamin?

we can take vitamin supplements (something i have had to do in order to keep healthy for this bubba).  it is available naturally in a small selection of foods - check here for a small list. or we can strive to find ways to take in that sunlight!
i have started taking a towel or a blanket and laying it down on the ground picnic style in my own backyard and laying down to read a book for about 30 mins - one hour everyday. sometimes its hard to do this during the week because of work, but i at least get out there on the weekends. no hijab needed - get into those short sleeved tops and pair of shorts and feel the warmth enter your skin! its very relaxing as long as it is done safely (no sunburn, etc). or if you dont have a backyard, then try to find a sunny spot in your apartment where the sunshine streams in through the window and lay under there.

wouldnt this awesome outdoor sofa be nice to relax on in your own backyard?

read here to find out more about the relation between lack of vitamin D and hijabies.

sick of this mentality

watch this and then leave me your thoughts...

first off - what an intelligent and articulate woman, masha'Allah!

my thoughts -

specifically on the man saying an open face can lead to temptation...

why dont men cover their faces? as a woman with hormones - a man's face is just as alluring as a woman's is to a man. when we look at an attractive man we are not attracted by his elbows or his knees or his neck - we are attracted to the face first and foremost so telling a woman to cover her face for this reason is ridiculous.

and to add to that - i swear i have never witnessed a man losing sexual control of himself because he glanced at a non-mahram woman's face in the street.

i dont believe niqab is fard/compulsory - i believe it is an option - an extra choice if you may but in no way do i believe it is something we must follow.

secondly - if he is the one experiencing temptation then it is his fault for looking twice in the first place. if you look at a woman/man that is attractive to you and you know it can lead to haram then look away as you are ordered to in the quran. its that simple.

you are actually ordered to lower your gaze FIRST in the quan, and then the clothing aspect comes into the verse.

im so over the screwed up mentality out there that we women are to blame for the lust of men. we cover in loose pants and loose tops and hijab and it is still not enough. so we switch the pants for long skirts and it still isnt enough. if wearing abaya - all clad in black - with no makeup and perfume is not enough then what do we do? do we put on niqab because some guy cant control himself and follow Allah's command to lower his gaze?

and what if we do put on niqab and gloves and black socks? then some will say he is attracted to our eyes as well! so we must hide our eyes as well?

so we start wearing an afghani type burka to hide our eyes in case they "lead him to temptation"?

and if he is still tempted, then what do we do once we have nothing left to hide?

should we lock ourselves up in our homes and never venture a foot outside to see the light of day because some man cant control himself? and what if that isnt enough?

what if the mere knowledge that a house he passes may contain a woman inside and that thought excites him and once again have that in some way lead him into temptation?

maybe we should go back to the days of burying female infants alive because they are obviously such a hindrance to some of the male species... (rolls eyes)

men - its up to you to control yourself. that is your honour. that is your modesty. it is not up to us to control your brain and your actions. we cant hide ourselves away from the world because you cant control yourself. and any men out there who are looking from woman's face to woman's face and getting all hot and bothered are obviously very weak men and need to work on their iman instead of ordering fully covered women out of sight. the problem lies with YOU, not US.

we are upholding our end of the agreement by covering - you should uphold yours by lowering your gaze if you find our hijab covered head too hot to handle.

Almighty Allah says: “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)” (An-Nur:30)

Imam Ibn Kathir wrote: "This is a command from Allah to His believing slaves to lower their gaze and refrain from looking at that which is forbidden to them. So they should not look at anything except that which they are permitted to look at, and they should lower their gaze and refrain from looking at forbidden things. If it so happens that a person’s gaze accidentally falls upon something forbidden, he should quickly avert his gaze."

for any men having trouble - read this regarding 20 ways you can lower your gaze.

disclaimer - the majority of muslim men dont have a problem with a woman's face but this blinded mentality sure does exist in the minds of a few.

hijab safety is a MUST!!!

...it is important. there isnt one type of hijab we are supposed to wear for every single occasion and the tragic news of an Australian muslim woman killed because of her hijab is proof.

the woman was go-karting with her family when her hijab got caught in the wheel of her go-kart, strangling her and causing her death that was witnessed by her family. please make dua for her family during this horrible time in their lives.

this really brings home to me that you must be careful. if you are going to do activities such as these remember to dress approriately.

going to a fun park - rollercoaster - go kart type thing:

wear pants instead of an abaya that can get caught in equipment. wear a form-fitting hijab like an al-amira hijab. they are perfect for this kinda thing because they are usually shorter and have no long ends hanging down which can also get caught in equipment. also if anything does happen it can easily be slipped off, whereas a normal wrap-around and pin hijab would be more difficult to remove because of all the pins and brooches involved it keeping it secure.

an al-amira type hijab - purely a slip on hijab:

same goes for being around any kind of machinery - whether you work in a factory, using a sewing machine, checking your car's engine... you get the point.

please wear it safely girls - if youre going to be around machinery of any kind then please dress appropriately so insha'Allah these tragic accidents dont occur!

welcome back pants

i am going to re-start doing pants & jeans sets (like i did in the old days) because my trip to egypt/dubai has changed my mind about modesty. i saw girls in skin tight abayas - clinging to their curves as if it was a wetsuit, i saw girls in dubai with abayas opened to reveal what may as well have been painted on leather pants and tight tops. i witnessed muslimahs in mini-skirts, boots and panty hose (sometimes they skipped the leggings all together in a very "WTF?!" way), girls rocking skinny jeans and short tops, super-tight long skirts, etc, etc, etc.

then on the other hand i witnessed gorgeous loose abayas, long swishy skirts, cute and loose jeans/pants outfits matched with long knee-length tops, etc. it really brought home to me that whatever item of clothing you have - be it abaya, jeans or a bed sheet - people are either going to wear it loosely or tightly - depending on their own state of mind and iman.

the difference in modesty - in all types of clothing (traditional islamic and western) was amazing and kinda funny to see two hijabies side by side - one in loose, flared jeans and long top, with the other in leggings/skinny jeans and what seemed like the shortest, skimpiest, tightest dress/top they could find - like in this example i did up here...

so many of the loose jeans/pants looks i saw were way more modest and hijab appropriate to me than many of the super tight abayas (which is strangely something i have never seen in australia - go figure) and bum hugging tight skirted outfits.

over the past few months i have been re-thinking about interpretations and meanings about islamic issues and have changed my stance on pants. i know some of you may think it hypocritical - i just see it as purely a change of mind. we should always re-evaluate and constantly challenge our own beliefs and interpretations. i now think that the purpose of hijab is for us to guard our modesty, wearing loose clothing and to look non-sexual - i.e covering up our bodily bits and pieces. i dont believe there is one single item of clothing that must be worn and i now think my much earlier stance was kinda closed-minded, especially considering i consider myself an open-minded individual.

i realise many will disagree or agree or may not even care, lol. we dont all think the same or come to the same conclusions/interpretations and i dont even want to get down to the nitty gritty reasons and 101 specific explanations on why i now think differently - i just want to get on with the fashion side of things. i will leave my change of mind and reasons with Allah and insha'Allah he accepts/forgives (whatever the case may be) any changes/transgressions.

i have been thinking this way for some time - but my lil trip to the middle east really shook it out of me. so with that in mind - get ready to check out the pant looks coming your way.

more of this to come!

do you like the set? have an opinion on the above?

colours of the world

lucky you - two posts today...

this is one i wanted to write for a while and since i have down a bright red based outfit post underneath - i wanted to add this in.

im not at all against using colour and i dont believe we are meant to wear dark colours and only dark colours. i believe that is a cultural thing. (check your hadiths about the women of the sahaba wearing colours for proof).

if you wore something bright red, like in the outfit below, and wore it say on the streets of saudi arabia where everyone traditionally wears all black, then you are sure to cause a scene and would be looking like an attraction/distraction.

but if you wore the same outfit somewhere in egypt (where i am at the moment) then no one would give you a second look. women of all ages here wear bright colours all of the time, so you walking down the street here looking like a popsicle rainbow wouldnt look out of place. you wouldnt be an attraction - it would be considered normal. i have seen girls here in head-to-toe bright pink and they just seem to blend in with the crowd.

the same could be said for places like malaysia or indonesia where girls like their colourful outfits as well - some african cultures as well. in the west its kinda half-half. we are not immune to bright colours, but if you walk down the street looking like a bright green highlighter then people will stare. and at the same time - a hijabi wearing all black is a distraction on the street and is a sight that sticks out. i find in the west we are sort of in the middle of the colour spectrum. we dont go for overly bright colours and at the same time too dark is off-putting as well. i guess we are more in the 'neutrals' range of acceptance.

so i think the colour argument only really depends on where you live and what your particular culture stipulates as being too much.

a popular style for young muslimahs in egypt:

malaysian hijabies:
dark is traditional in saudi:

bright and patterned to the hills in india:

put one of the saudi sisters from the pic above smack bang in the middle of the indian lot and she will for sure look out of place.

where are you from and what is the norm where you live? are brights accepted? are darks? or are you living somewhere where the in-between is normal (such as the west)?

hijab reminders via egypt

are you covering properly? are you making sure your assests are concealed and not merely covered in fabric? because there is a difference between covered and concealed. covered could be taken as you wearing head to toe tight lycra that may hide your skin but doesnt hide the curves of your body. concealed on the other hand means that you cant see them - they are hidden from view.

im saying this out of recent viewing experiences here in egypt. most hijabies here wear nice abayas, long swishy skirts or loose, flared pants with long loose tops, dresses over loose pants, etc.

there are however a lot of other girls who wear something like this:

A - a very short skirt worn over either very sheer or opaque tights and boots. i dont get why you would bother covering your hair when your legs and thighs are naked. doesnt make sense.

B - a knee-length skirt with boots. doesnt seem hijab-appropraite to me.

C- skinny jeans (with boots or normal shoes). skinny jeans expose the whole leg - especially when worn with tops that barely cover your belt.


A. B. C.

a lot of the jeans worn here are matched with a shirt (sometimes very tight tops) that doesnt cover the rear end. its a bit funny to see girls with massive puffy hijabs and then their bum sticking out on display.

i have been wanting to take pics of these to show you guys (with faces blanked out of course to hide identity - its the style i want to capture - not the girl's faces) but i drive past so quick that i can never get the camera out in time. the looks above seem to be a real trend here. it isnt just one or two or even a few girls going out like this - there are a lot of them. like i said - a real trend.

now, in saying all of the above - just ask yourself "do i dress like this?"

ask yourself these questions and ponder on them:

"would i be comfortable wearing this to a mosque?"

"could i walk into a room full of men and not feel uncomfortable based on my clothing choice?"

"am i doing the hijab justice?"

"When my daughter is my age now and she wore this - would i want her to? would i approve?"

"What is more important to me - to be covered properly or to gain attention for my tight fashion choices and my body?"

now for your thoughts...

i will leave the words up to you...

whats left on the tip of your tongue after seeing this?

covered? yes. concealed? no.

i was having a discussion with a friend of mine today who is learning about hijab and intends on wearing it but had so many questions and was kinda confused about the whole thing - especially about what is meant by 'proper' covering. for her, like so many 'new to hijab' muslimahs, learning the difference between what is merely a covering for your skin to what is concealing your body is the first step.

my friend was confused, thinking that as long as her skin wasnt showing and she wore a scarf that she was dressed appropriately by islamic ideals. to correct her i got this pic below, sent her the original and then sent her my very badly edited one.

my point was proven instantly to her - this model has all her skin covered but her body is not concealed, therefore throwing a scarf on top of the outfit would not matter at all or somehow magically make her skin tight outfit proper hijabi wear.

she got my point and hopefully a few of the sisters out there dressing like the above (in tight clothing, skinny jeans, leggings, etc) while wearing a scarf, will as well.

good for young girls to watch!

a cute short cartoon on an abaya hijabi vs a pants hijabi vs a non-hijabi:

and another cute cartoon on getting girls to dress modestly and to cover:

does this ever happen to you?

today i walked into a shop to buy some cake mix because im having people over later (yes, you really needed to know that) and on arrival in the shop i walked past two muslim guys and one of them was staring.

i thought he was doing so for either one of these three reasons:

1. he digs my hijab and wants to buy one for his wife ...OR...
2. he wants to take me back to his village so we can live as camel herders for the rest of our lives ...OR...
3. i looked like his sister/mother/dad

i walked past him and further down the shop and saw my reflection in the coke fridge and realised why he was looking. i had a bit of this going on...

...that awkward "im a hijabi but i like to air-condition my chest occasionally" thing. even though it was only a tiny bit of my neck-meets-chest skin patch hanging out between my hijab and abaya, it made me feel totally naked for some reason. dont you hate it when that happens?

what would you do...

...if your family was muslim, yet they rejected the idea of you wearing hijab? how would you approach them? what would you do - not wear hijab to please them or go against their wishes and wear hijab for Allah? has anyone been in this situation before - and if so - what struggles did you face / how did you solve the situation? also - why were they against it?

thoughts... opinions... experiences...

Ramadan is coming...

...in a couple of days - depending on your mosque. everyone here is arguing over three different days. some people say its tomorrow, some say friday, others say saturday. anywho.... lets get onto the clothing.

this was a request for a taraweeh set. something that is purely about prayer shouldnt be a showcase, although unfortunately taraweeh prayer usually ends up being a catwalk for some. it should be simple, to the point and relevant. by 'relevant' i mean you dont need 50 jingling bangles, a face full of makeup, high heels or clothes entirely made from glitter sequins - you are there for prayer, not a disco. think of hajj wear and its simplicity. so for this reason the set i made is very low key. all you need is an abaya, your hijab, some slip-on shoes that you can leave at the masjid door and perhaps your water bottle. i usually take one with me to make up for the lack of water intake during the day.

for the masjid i really believe women should go in abaya/jilbab/etc. most of the girls who turn up for salat in pants usually end up having half their back/bum area exposed, underwear showing, etc and its really not nice (or appropriate) for the masjid, especially if you are the poor woman standing behind in the prayer line who gets an unwelcome eyeful on the way down to sujood. i have also seen this happen with some girls wearing skirts - skin being shown as they bend over because their top isnt long enough.

even for myself personally - during my first ramadan i turned up to the masjid as a new muslim, ignorant and uneducated about proper clothing. i was wearing jeans and a top that i considered as long because it reached about mid-thigh in length, however when i finished praying the women next to me stopped me on the way out and told me to wear something different next time because when i went into sujood my lower back was showing. so from that lesson i learnt that just because something is long enough by your standards as you stand in front of the mirror at home, it doesnt mean it will be long enough when your whole body is bending forward in a different position.

to stay on the safe side i would stick with an abaya that you can just throw on for the taraweeh prayer. if you dont wear abaya normally, it might be a good idea to keep an open style abaya/jilbab in your car so you can throw it on top of your clothes (you can wear the abaya/jilbab open as if you are wearing it as a jacket). its easy to wear, you dont need to worry about skin showing when you bend down and it is without a doubt the most accepted clothing item at the mosque.

by the way - i love this cute damask print water bottle. so cute!

Happy (coming) Ramadan and remember to keep it simple!

here we go again

you know what i think we all need to do? i think if you wear hijab then you should educate yourself on everything to do with hijab. i believe its your right and responsibility as a hijabi. so when those uneducated, over the top fools come in and attack you for wearing a yellow hijab, you can shed some light on their uneducated mind and reveal some evidence on the matter.

i keep getting comments from people (and ive seen them on other blogs as well) going off their head, leaving comments like this...

"black hijab is the right hijab"

"sister - girls can not wear colours, it attracts men"

now i dont know about you, but i have never seen a guy *ahem* in his pants from seeing a girl wear some turquoise. and if a guy does, then there are obviously some other issues going on that are more important.

if people only looked into the evidence, they would see that the sahaba wore colours. let me repeat - the women at the time of the prophet wore colours. no one lived their life in black. they wore jewellery. aisha is well known for wearing rings. there is documented evidence in the hadith about their hands being decorated with henna, ordered by the prophet to distinguish the male hand from the female hand. women wore kohl (eyeliner). that section in the quran where it talks about ordering women to "hide your adornments" - those 'adornments' are actually your breasts - its not talking about necklaces.

go look into it yourself. a muslim is allowed to decorate themselves within limits. they are allowed to look beautiful and presentable, within limits. (check out pixie's blog posts for detailed explanations on clothing related hadiths and islamic history).

i just get so bloody sick of uneducated/misinformed idiots who DONT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, going around saying "you cant wear a ring... haram! you cant wear any colour other than black... haram! colour attracts men... haram!"

lets ask a man, shall we?

i received this comment from a guy on this blog today, in response to another person's comment on women having to MUST wear black and it really made me laugh and thank him for his honest and very intelligent opinion.... (its a long one)....

If the topic is about whether Muslim women can or cannot wear color, and whether it drives men crazy or not, then for God's sake please take culture into account. If you go into Africa, all over you will see African women wearing brightly colored abaayas and robes and shawls and skirts. Bold blue, pretty pink, screaming yellow, garish green, obnoxious orange, and so on. BRIGHT colors. But its common. And because its so common to the Muslim african cultures, its not a problem there. It doesnt cause fitnah like it might if a Saudi woman were to dress in a yellow, orange and white ensemble in the middle of a Saudi or Iranian sea of black-abaaya clad women.

If you go to Turkey, women there frequently wear color and its very common. You come to North America, same thing. You go to Afghanistan, India or Pakistan, ... OHMYDAGWD they're all wearing COLORS!!! ... and you don't see men getting all excited about it.

You go to Indonesia and there the most common color for Muslim women in public, is an all-white chador. They all wear white! SHUCKS!

Seriously, please do not use women's fashion in Saudi as a yardstick to measure up other Muslim women worldwide. Because if you really want, I'll bust out the articles and accounts of those areas in Saudi where MARRIED WOMEN dont even show their faces INSIDE THEIR HOUSE to their own HUSBANDS. The guy has been married for 30 years, and he hasnt seen his wife's face. And its not just an isolated case.

So please, drop it with "You're either with Saudi or you're against Islam" way of thinking. Its not conducive to good mental or spiritual health. Islam was revealed for all humanity, and it didn't come to impose the Arabian customs of life on the entire world. That would be just absolutely retarded. Its about general principles and ethics that can be implemented anywhere regardless of geography, time, or language.

Last but not least - this is coming from a guy who's 28, young and built like a rock. Born and raised in the West, but still maintains cultural links to his homelands in Mideast Asia - the color pink has NEVER excited my loins. I honest-to-God do not know of a SINGLE GUY who gets all excited when seeing a pink dress on a girl. I find it an annoying color to be honest because so many girls I know go completely overboard with that color, doing their whole rooms and houses up in pink. What does excite my loins is that which is already known by everyone here, and the author of this website has referred to it subtly when she tells the ladies to stop wearing bum-tight jeans, or tight tops, or tight leggings, etc.

(thanks maverick) what do you think?

yay for curves!

i love when designers use average sized girls. most of the times i see abayas being modelled, they are being worn by girls who are the typical 'model' size - very skinny - all bones and no meat. and while that may be helpful for the naturally skinny girl, the reality is that most of us are bigger and curvier. so when i came across these abayas being modelled i was like "yay for curves!" its great to see an abaya being modelled on a girl with healthy curves. it gives the average girl a better idea of how the piece will look on her.

because half the time when an abaya has decorations on the bust, it is usually modelled on a girl who is very thin and usually quite flat chested, so when it comes to shopping - the girls who have a little bit more than a slight bump in that area will have no idea how it is going to look on them. and besides that - i love that a curvy woman is showing off the abaya. i wish more muslim designers would use models that are closer to the average sized woman.

it looks so ugly

it truly does... and there are better ways to cover your feet.

if you are into that whole "feet must be covered" thing (im not) then do it right. dont wear stockings or panty hose with open toed shoes or sandals. it looks gross and weird, like you have some kind of epidermal infection that you are trying to clear up. instead wear closed shoes with your stockings. its just weird... especially if the stockings are sheer. if you are going to wear tights or socks with your OPEN TOED shoes, then please make sure they are not sheer or flesh coloured. its JUST GROSS.

lets take a look at exhibit A shall we...

here in exhibit A we find two feet in the same shoes. one is natural and bare, while the other is covered in a flesh coloured sheer stocking, otherwise known as the worst way to cover your toes in open front shoes (aka hideous)...

dont you think the covered toe section looks just completely weird? like a mannequin's plastic foot?

im not saying you shouldnt cover your feet. if you believe that is a part of your awrah then by all means wrap your tootsies in niqabs for all i care. but at least do it in a nice manner. i dont really get the whole open toed shoes with stockings look anyway... but if you MUST do it, then do it right. i suggest going for darker coloured, OPAQUE stockings. i think you should really wear them with close toed shoes though.

lets look through pics of various cool tights with shoes...

umm... no (or maybe not)

i saw the designer featured on the hijab style blog and decided to check out the link posted. i just wanted to post these pics because sometimes girls go overboard in their hijab styling. sometimes you have to step back and ask yourself "is this a nice style of hijab or a nice big fat colourful bird's nest on my head?" sorry but to me it just looks like a giant mess... but hey, you might actually like it.

and then ask yourself "am i wearing a modest hijab or a totally out-there weird thing on my head that will make traffic stop (and crash into the car in front because the driver was too busy going "what the EFF is that!!" to stop in time)?"

do you take my "wtf is that?" opinion and think its just too much or do you actually like it? and if so, where would you wear this kind of style?